Deciding What's Truly Essential

It’s 3:45 p.m. I’m frantically trying to get Audrey to put her dance clothes on while wrapping up with work for the day. At 3:50 p.m., Aiden walks in the door after a day of school and I tell him not to take his shoes off because we have to leave right away. I have his soccer clothes packed to change on the way; we grab his backpack in case there is time to squeeze in homework at some point and pile in the car, typically accompanied by lots of yelling from me. Mondays are busy with both dance and soccer practice, a quick dinner, typically on the go, homework, showers, and bed.

Of course I am describing a Monday night pre-Covid-19, before quarantines and social distancing. Our Monday evenings now look a lot different and at first that made me very sad. I was sad for my kids, worried they would miss their activities and selfishly upset that we were still paying for things that possibly wouldn’t continue. But after a few of these new, slow-paced Monday nights, I realized something. Neither of my children has asked about their missed activities. They have not complained one bit about this new wide-open schedule. Sure, Audrey has said that she misses dance and enjoys her virtual classes, but there have been no tears, no breakdowns, and no regrets about missing these things. So what does that mean?

I think it means that we have been given a unique and possibly even life-changing opportunity. I’ve come back to the word opportunity quite a bit these past several weeks and the recurring thought is this…when have we ever, or will we ever again, had the opportunity to strip our lives down to only those things that are essential? Aside from the obvious stresses that many are feeling in terms of health, work, and finances, when have we ever had the chance to look at our lives and truly analyze what we want – and don’t want – to be a part of them?

The other day I took a few minutes to myself and thought about what I am truly missing in this weird, isolated situation. I miss my family and friends. I miss seeing my kids enjoy and thrive at school and playing with friends. I miss going to church. I miss traveling. While I do miss watching my kids play sports and participate in activities, I do not miss those rushed evenings. While I miss dining as a family at a sit down restaurant, I don’t miss grabbing food while we’re on the run to the next thing. I don’t miss spending money on things I don’t need (okay, maybe I miss Target a little bit), and I absolutely do not miss that stress and fear of missing out on all the things that I once thought we were supposed to be doing.

As we grow up and move through our lives, we very often just do the next thing we are “supposed” to do. Go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, get a dog, have kids, then work so hard all the time that you feel burnt out and overschedule your kids so that everyone forgets what boredom feels like. They don’t tell you about that last part in your college graduation speech, and yet it seems to happen to almost everyone.

So what if we look at this time of quarantine as a gift of perspective and reflection? Take this time to truly think about what we miss and what aspects of our “old” life we can’t wait to bring back. This will look different for everyone, as some do thrive on and enjoy a busy schedule. While I’m 100% sure we will go back to some activities, I know that I am going to truly think about what those activities will add to our lives – and what they potentially may take away. Both my husband and I have continued to work through all of this, me from home and Andrew as an essential employee in construction. We’ve always enjoyed our jobs, but I don’t think we’ve ever been more appreciative to have them. That being said, this time has also shown that priorities are necessary to ensure our family is happy and content.

Today I went for a walk with my kids in the woods. They’ve claimed a spot in our neighborhood as their fort and we now each have bedrooms, mine with a view of a creek. We walked over log bridges, collected rocks to mark our new rooms, and stopped to notice every flower and every croak of a nearby frog. Not once did I yell at them to hurry up because we were going to be late for dance. I didn’t have to say no when they wanted to take the long way home. Now that I think about it, I haven’t done much yelling or hurrying during these weeks and that thought alone makes me want to hang on to a bit of these weird times.

Think about what you actually miss in these moments. This time of distancing has been forced, but our attitudes and perspectives are completely within our control. I know not every single person has the opportunity to think in this way right now, but many of us do. Rather than hope and pray for things to go back to the way they were, perhaps we should pray that we move on with only those things that bring us joy, contentment, and a true sense of living life to the fullest.

Opportunity In A Time Of Anxiety

Anxious. Worried. Sad. Depressed.

These are likely all words you can relate to right now as we face a worldwide pandemic. But the truth is, these words were my reality long before the term Corona Virus entered our everyday vocabulary. And I know I’m not alone. Mental health was already a virus in its own right, sweeping our nation and targeting women, men, young, old… basically anyone who was breathing. As the pace of life moved faster and faster, constant comparison and expectation took over, and for many people – myself included – it was already challenging to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And then our stores ran out of toilet paper. Schools closed. People lost jobs and all of a sudden even tomorrow was unknown. Everyone who struggles with anxiety or depression is different, but generally the idea of things being “unknown” is not exactly comforting. In fact, that is exactly where the root of my anxiety lies. I don’t do well when things are up in the air or when I lose control. And during these past few weeks, we seem to lose more control with each day, each press conference, and each new diagnosis.

Despite all of that, I have four new words to share with you.

Peace. Priorities. Perspective. Opportunity.

We can choose to focus on the sadness and worries, or we can choose to direct our thoughts elsewhere. Let’s start with peace. With two young children learning from home while I am working from home, peace is not exactly the first word that comes to mind. However, just in saying this word to myself, a sense of calm often overwhelms me. Gaining this peace involves letting go of the things I can’t control, which feels like just about everything right now. But I CAN and WILL control my own thoughts and I am choosing to guide them toward peace.

When else while we are alive will we be stripped down to only the things in our lives that are essential? In this time of quarantine, we are being forced to prioritize our health, our families, our homes, as well as others. We are being asked to think of others’ needs and work together to flatten the curve. My thoughts have been… what if when this is all over, we keep these priorities the same? Or at least we think long and hard before rearranging them. This change could be the silver lining the world needed.

Why does it take a life-altering event to bring about perspective? This seems to be human nature and we should all gain a new perspective as we collectively go through something we’ve never experienced before. I know I will never take certain professions for granted again. I’ve always been so grateful for our teachers, but will be even more so now. Every day I get to work, I’m going to be thankful to have a job that I love and helps provide for our family. I’ve never noticed spring the way I have this year. The occasional warm breeze, the budding flowers on the trees, and the return of the sound of lawnmowers throughout the neighborhood. I hope we all look at our world with a new set of lenses in the coming months and years.

And finally, opportunity. I’m not talking about how you now have time to tackle those organization projects. This extremely difficult time is giving us all an opportunity to decide how we are going to live this life. The healthcare worker has the opportunity to be a hero and quite literally fight for our health, while at the same time risking hers. She will likely discover that she is ten times stronger and braver than she ever imagined. The family with teens at home has the opportunity to take back some of that time lost thanks to social media and busy schedules. They are hopefully discovering that they actually do enjoy spending time together. And for me, my opportunity comes back to where we started. I have been given the opportunity to face anxiety head on. So often I would feel anxious or depressed, but for no recognizable reason. This may sound odd, but I have found comfort in having a tangible reason to own these feelings. And another change…I’m allowing myself to actually feel them. In some way, having something to actually worry about has made those deep down anxieties fade away. I have realized that I DO have control over my thoughts, and that has impacted my feelings. Oh, I am still sad and worried multiple times throughout the day, but I keep coming back to Peace. Priorities. Perspective. Opportunity.

Writing a completely “feel good” reflection on this time didn’t feel right. I’m not feeling good all the time, but you know what? I’m feeling something, and for me, that’s improvement. I hope and pray that this intense and unknown time brings about the right opportunities for all of us to appreciate each other, grow more patient, and never, ever take the simple luxuries of life for granted. A virus can spread fast enough to shut down a nation and keep us apart. But peace, essential priorities, a renewed perspective, and an appreciation of opportunity can build us back up stronger and more united than ever before.

The Thoughts That Brought Me Back To My Blog

Well hello there, strangers. When the ball dropped a little over a week ago, I googled my Limke Life website and wasn't really surprised to see that my last post was a year ago, naming "Joy" as my word for the new year of 2018. That year is now in the past, so rather than give you a (lengthy) recap of the past 12 months, I figured I'd just share the thoughts that brought me back to this space of mine.

Today is January 12th...a day with quite a bit of meaning in my life. On this day 12 years ago, Andrew and I "met" at a mutual family friend's birthday party. 11 years ago, we were engaged on this day. Four years ago, when Audrey was just 5 months old and Aiden was about to turn two, I underwent my second open heart surgery. And two years ago, I spoke to my mom on the phone for the first time in almost two months, due to a very serious illness and stroke that kept her on a ventilator for weeks. Nothing major happened on this date today, in 2019, aside from my annual tradition of taking this photo...

I bought this shirt after my surgery and it became my outfit for an annual before/after photo. I've been working on my health for four years now, and this picture reminds me that 2018 was a roller coaster with this journey - in both good and bad ways.

Losing weight and adopting a new lifestyle is hard. There is really no other way to put it, and anyone who tells you differently (I believe), is not being truthful. Everyone reaches poor health for different reasons, but for me it had a lot to do with my emotions and habits. I have always been an emotional eater, and I love eating good food (who doesn't?), and I knew I had to work on both of these if I was going to be successful in living a healthy lifestyle.

The photo above initially brought up many emotions. Thankfully, the first was pride. It's obvious I have come very far, and am still on the right path. However, the next emotion that quickly followed was disappointment. It's also obvious (to me, at least) in this photo that I am not in the same shape I was a year ago. I knew I had gained a little weight back, and I definitely knew I haven't been working out at the same level I was in 2017. I even went so far as to zoom in on the pictures, analyzing what has changed. And then the third emotion set in...joy.

I'm allowed to be frustrated with myself for making choices I don't want to make when it comes to my health. However, I am filled with an incredible amount of joy when I realize that I have succeeded in my ultimate goal - changing my lifestyle. Rather than think back on the bad choices I made this past year, I thought about my accomplishments...I wore a two-piece bathing suit in public - confidently; I ran a 4-mile race without training; I'm lifting heavier weights at the gym now than I ever have before; I have plenty of energy to keep up with my kids; I am still down 5 sizes from when I began this journey; and ironically...I went through a slew of cardiac testing last year due to a low heart rate, when it turns out...I'm just very healthy.

There have been many times this past year when I've wanted to log in and write something here. Time has not allowed it, but I felt like this topic was too important not to make the time for. I know I am not alone in these feelings, and I hope this will reach someone who is only looking at the slightly tighter pants or the donut he/she decided to eat for breakfast. There is a big picture, and when I look at this photo, I'm choosing to see the marathon, not the sprint. This doesn't mean I haven't made new health goals for myself in 2019, but I am confident that I have already reached a goal that I've had for over 20 years. I am physically in shape, I mostly eat healthy, nourishing foods, with a few favorites mixed in, and I move my body almost every day. If you're at the beginning of a health journey, or somewhere in the middle (because there really is no end), give yourself credit for starting, for trying, and for finding joy in every single accomplishment along the way.

2018...The Year of Joy

It's been several months since I've logged in to my blog and written a post. Even this is a couple days later than I had planned, but that is just how things seem to work around here! I had a few moments to myself this morning and have finally had a chance to reflect on the year that has now passed and the year that lies ahead. I'm feeling a little sad that the Christmas season is over (as are the kids, who ask WHY it had to end EVERYday ;)), but like we all do, I'm attempting to look forward to all of what's to come in 2018.

2017 was an interesting year, not quite as tumultuous as 2016, but definitely not bland, either. Here are a few highlights from the year....

My mom came home from the hospital and has made a miraculous recovery. We celebrated in the spring at a Go Red for Women event and it was a moment I'll never forget. 

I hit the 100 lb weight loss mark! This was such a huge milestone in my life and a lifestyle change I am incredibly proud of. 

We visited Disney World as a family of four and had the best week EVER. We are planning and saving for a trip back soon and I can't wait. It is worth every penny. 

We did a lot more traveling! Columbus, Chicago, St. Louis, Destin, Fripp Island...our kids love to travel and I can't wait to do more in 2018. 

I got a dream job that has changed our lives. That is not an exaggeration! While I'm still getting used to being a "work from home mom," writing for OnlyInYourState (both Kentucky and Cincinnati) has been a game changer and a purpose that I love so much. I work with an amazing group of people and feel so lucky to have this opportunity.

We experienced A LOT of Cincy. Thanks to my other role with Cincinnati Parent, we've taken the city by storm and been lucky enough to experience quite a bit in the past year. As I look back at it all, I feel so thankful that my kids get to see this city and area in ways I'd never dreamed.

I wore a bikini in public for the first time. This may not seem like a big deal, but it sure was a big step in my life in so many ways. More on that in my next post :). 

Andrew and I celebrated 9 years of marriage. This just happened a few days ago, but each day of every year, I am thankful for him and our relationship. It is far from perfect, but it's the perfect place for each of us and we only get stronger as a team with time. 

At the end of 2016, rather than make resolutions, I chose a word to focus on in 2017. That word was Peace. It was appropriate given all we were going through with my mom, having just moved to a new house and all of the other craziness that was happening. I would come back to that word often throughout the year, but I have to admit that I came far from achieving it. In 2018, I want to continue to work on finding peace in my life, but I'm also adding the word JOY. This word first came to mind for many reasons, but one was inspired by my dear friend who is facing a tremendous battle right now, yet is somehow consumed with joy. I say somehow, but really, I know how this is possible and it is through her faith, trust, and love in Jesus. 

I haven't talked much about God on here, and I'm not sure why. Over the past year, I've felt a strong pull to work on my relationship with Jesus, which has already made a few big changes in my life. We've finally started going to church regularly, I'm committed to spending time each day reflecting, learning, and connecting with God and His Word. 

With all the good that came from 2017, I fear that I will likely look back on that year as the one where I dealt with quite a bit of anxiety and stress. I wrote about those feelings here, but I am most excited about starting 2018 with a fresh outlook and renewed will to deal with and handle those feelings. 

2018 will be a year filled with God, family, friends, fulfilling work, travel, fun, peace and JOY. And hopefully more time sharing on here. I miss it, and it's definitely a free form of therapy for me ;). 

Happy New Year! Wishing you a healthy, peaceful, and joyful 2018! 

Aiden & Audrey... 4.5 and 3 Editions

Wow, it's been awhile. More on that in another post, but today is all about Aiden and Audrey who are now officially four and a half and three. Since time is not my friend these days, I decided to put these "Baby Book" posts together into one. I've had a goal to keep this updated every six months until they turn five...I'm only a couple of weeks behind ;).

Aiden was halfway to five as of August 19th. Five seems SO old to me, so I'm hoping these next six months take their sweet time. He starts his last year of preschool tomorrow and is already excited about the "Big Boy School" and kindergarten, thanks to the awesome playground there that we walked to several times this summer :).

Aiden has changed in many ways, but has also remained the same. He still loves trains and every other mode of transportation. He spends most of his time building and rebuilding train tracks, towns, and right now he is working with Audrey on "A wonderful town with volcanoes and dinosaurs." :) Speaking of dinosaurs, he's pretty into them right now, as well. He is interested in super heroes, and says he wants to be Batman for Halloween....we'll see if that sticks!

His favorite activities are definitely riding his bike, swimming, and digging. He also loves to climb, run, and learn to play sports. He is playing soccer right now and loves it. He also loves to toss a football with Daddy and hit a ball off the tee. One minute he's running around on a mission, and the next he is sitting in the corner with a book.

Aiden loves spending time with both Mommy and Daddy, as well as his other family and friends. We're working on not playing rough (sorry, little sister) and thinking before acting ;). This wild boy has the softest, most sweetest side - he wakes up and immediately finds my lap and has to snuggle before bed at night. I hope that stays around for awhile.

Audrey turned 3 on September 4th and I'm not sure where those years went! She has changed SO much this past year, it amazes us everyday. She starts her second year of preschool tomorrow and seems pretty excited. She talks about making friends and playing on the playground, hopefully she'll have a great year!

The biggest change in Audrey is in her speech and personality. While we're keeping an eye on her articulation, she gains better language skills daily and is pretty hilarious. She has a bit of a free spirit and just wants what she wants. It's difficult to reason with her, so if something sets her off, we pretty much just have to wait out the storm.

Audrey still has her Kitty and Blankie nearby at all times, but she's definitely not as attached. She LOVES Belle from Beauty and the Beast, and all of the other princesses are not too far behind. She is rarely out of a princess dress and talks about Disney World daily. She loves to draw and play with stickers and playdoh, and also loves to be outside - running, swimming, digging, and playing.

Audrey gets comments on her long, curly hair daily and I never want to cut it :). There will be tears that day, for sure! I tell people she is the sweetest, most precious angel one minute and a complete terror the next. There is no in-between. And that is the truth! She is still a Mommy's girl, but that is slowly getting better. She's not as cuddly as Aiden, but loves to give me five million kisses before bed (she's the stall queen!).

This summer has been crazy, with lots of travel, work and fun. I've been adjusting to a new work schedule and they've been along for the ride. When they play together (which they happen to be doing right now), it melts my heart and I try to soak it in, because you know there's a disagreement right around the corner :). I know I'll look back on these posts one day and smile, remembering the time when the days were oh so long, but the years were way too short.

Two Months

Two months! That's how long it's been since I last posted. I'm not 100% positive, but I'm pretty sure that's the longest break I've taken since starting this page over two years ago. There have been several times that I've sat down to do a post, but it just didn't happen. As I mentioned in my last post, I started a new job in March that increased my workload by A LOT. Well, that job is actually now expanding, so I'll be adding more work/writing to my everyday routine. So, before that takes off and I have to adjust again, I figured it was now or never for a long overdue update. 

Let's break this down into categories, shall we? Feel free to skip over the boring parts ;). These are my favorite types of posts to look back on, so I apologize for the "life dump."

Work Life... 
Since I already mentioned it, let's start here. I continue to work with both Cincinnati Parent Magazine and Cincinnati Moms Blog, doing a variety of things. I love everything about both of these roles! In March, I started as the Kentucky writer for onlyinyourstate.com. If you don't already, please follow along on Facebook! I LOVE sharing any and everything about Kentucky. And I love working for amazing people and an incredible website. In fact, I love it so much that I'll be adding Only In Cincinnati to my repertoire! I'm so excited to write about my hometown on a daily basis. 

It's so crazy to think about this career I've built. I remember when I was teaching, how, although I loved it, I wanted so badly to find a way to be home with my kids and have more flexibility. We took a huge leap of faith when I decided to stay home and with a lot of hard work and pushing myself out of my comfort zone, we are making it work. And it's better than I ever imagined. 

Aiden Life...
Aiden finished up a great year of preschool and is growing up so incredibly fast. I'll do a more complete update on him when he's four and a half in a couple months, but a few quick things.... All of a sudden he is eating everything in sight and sleeping like a rock at night. Who is this kid?! He loves to ride his bike and is about ready to lose the training wheels. He's still obsessed with all things that move and loves to dig in the dirt. 

Audrey Life...
Oh, Audrey. She is the most adorable, sweet, funny child one minute and a complete terror the next. She's unpredictable and has decided sleeping (in her crib) is optional. She's extremely picky with food and cries a lot. But she's smart. She's funny and silly. She does everything with her whole heart and is fearless. She still carries her kitty and blankie everywhere, which I'm sure won't stop anytime soon. It's so hard to believe she'll be 3 in less than three months. 

Married Life...
Andrew remains my biggest cheerleader in anything I choose to do. He's been so supportive of both my writing endeavors and my health goals. We are desperately trying to make time for the two of us, and we're looking forward to a fun summer. 

Health Life...
While this remains a top priority, I'd be lying if I didn't mention that I've had some struggles. I still have goals I'd like to reach in terms of gaining more muscle and toning up more, but I'm in more of a maintenance phase right now. I try to keep my eating at 80/20 - 80% very healthy and 20% of freebies. I'd say it's been a bit more like 70/30 the past several weeks. I don't really believe in doing cleanses or hardcore diets to "get back on track," since I continue to live an overall healthy lifestyle. But I have recommitted to using the MyFitnessPal App and scheduling my workouts for the week. I'm going to try and post more about this soon. 

Well, I think that's enough for now :). This blog is not going anywhere. In a weird way, it's been my therapy the past two years and I'm definitely not ready for it to be over. 

Limke's Lately

Well I guessed right when I said in my last post that it'd be difficult to keep up with this blog! I feel like I'm coming up for air just a bit right now, and wanted to stop in and share a few pictures from the past couple of weeks. Plus, I truly enjoy using this space and a quote I came across this week reminded me of that... "You always have time for the things you put first." :)

We enjoyed a beautiful spring day last week with friends downtown. When I remembered the picture we took with Aiden 4 years ago in this spot, I knew we had to replicate it. He's bigger, I'm smaller :). I've been very hard on myself recently with food and working out because I've felt that both are a struggle. I'm in a rut with eating the same things and I have a nagging injury that is making it hard to work out. But pictures like this remind me how far I have come and to give myself grace. 

Monday was Opening Day in Cincy, so we had to dress for the occasion. This was the first year in a long time that I haven't gone to the parade but it just wasn't going to happen this year. Next year for sure!!

We made a quick trip to the zoo to see all of the beautiful flowers and say hi to our fav animals. These two were SO good that I almost didn't recognize them!

And Aiden is so used to me taking his picture that he now sits down in picturesque spots and demands a photo. Whoops ;). He looks SO big here!

Audrey has been taking a gymnastics class for a bit now and Aiden felt like he was missing out. So this session, they are in a class together! They have a blast running off energy and bouncing around the gym. 

We had a wonderful opportunity to go see Matilda the Musical this week and it was adorable! Aiden loved it and Audrey, well... she managed :). It's crazy to think that my first broadway style show was Phantom of the Opera when I was like 12 and they've been to so many shows already. I hope they know how incredibly lucky they are!

When I was pregnant with Audrey, everyone always said she and Aiden would be best of friends, being only 18 months apart. Until recently, I wasn't sure they were right. But something has definitely changed and they are so much fun together! They fight (full out wrestling at times!) and scream at each other, but they love each other fiercely. Aiden is now able to calm her down almost better than I can. Here he is rocking her to sleep and giving her milk. :)

And reading her a bedtime story.... I was sitting next to them folding laundry and my heart was also next to me in a big puddle. He's reading a story he "wrote" and completely made up all on his own!

And just for fun... Thanks to an Instagram contest, I won a gift card to Erin Condren and took advantage of a big sale to finally get one of her planners. I now know what the fuss is about and am obsessed. Worth every dime. And this cookbook is by one of my favorite bloggers! I'm hoping it will help my kids branch out a bit with food (and give me new ideas!). 

It's going to be a beautiful weekend here and we have a few fun things planned! Hopefully I'll be able to get back to this regularly, but for now - thanks for stopping by!