Anxious. Worried. Sad. Depressed.
These are likely all words you can relate to right now as we
face a worldwide pandemic. But the truth is, these words were my reality long
before the term Corona Virus entered our everyday vocabulary. And I know I’m
not alone. Mental health was already a virus in its own right, sweeping our
nation and targeting women, men, young, old… basically anyone who was
breathing. As the pace of life moved faster and faster, constant comparison and
expectation took over, and for many people – myself included – it was already
challenging to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
And then our stores ran out of toilet paper. Schools closed.
People lost jobs and all of a sudden even tomorrow was unknown. Everyone who
struggles with anxiety or depression is different, but generally the idea of
things being “unknown” is not exactly comforting. In fact, that is exactly
where the root of my anxiety lies. I don’t do well when things are up in the
air or when I lose control. And during these past few weeks, we seem to lose
more control with each day, each press conference, and each new diagnosis.
Despite all of that, I have four new words to share with
you.
Peace. Priorities. Perspective. Opportunity.
We can choose to focus on the sadness and worries, or we can
choose to direct our thoughts elsewhere. Let’s start with peace. With two young
children learning from home while I am working from home, peace is not exactly
the first word that comes to mind. However, just in saying this word to myself,
a sense of calm often overwhelms me. Gaining this peace involves letting go of
the things I can’t control, which feels like just about everything right now.
But I CAN and WILL control my own thoughts and I am choosing to guide them
toward peace.
When else while we are alive will we be stripped down to
only the things in our lives that are essential? In this time of quarantine, we
are being forced to prioritize our health, our families, our homes, as well as
others. We are being asked to think of others’ needs and work together to
flatten the curve. My thoughts have been… what if when this is all over, we
keep these priorities the same? Or at least we think long and hard before
rearranging them. This change could be the silver lining the world needed.
Why does it take a life-altering event to bring about perspective?
This seems to be human nature and we should all gain a new perspective as we
collectively go through something we’ve never experienced before. I know I will
never take certain professions for granted again. I’ve always been so grateful
for our teachers, but will be even more so now. Every day I get to work, I’m going
to be thankful to have a job that I love and helps provide for our family. I’ve
never noticed spring the way I have this year. The occasional warm breeze, the
budding flowers on the trees, and the return of the sound of lawnmowers
throughout the neighborhood. I hope we all look at our world with a new set of
lenses in the coming months and years.
And finally, opportunity. I’m not talking about how you now
have time to tackle those organization projects. This extremely difficult time
is giving us all an opportunity to decide how we are going to live this life.
The healthcare worker has the opportunity to be a hero and quite literally
fight for our health, while at the same time risking hers. She will likely
discover that she is ten times stronger and braver than she ever imagined. The
family with teens at home has the opportunity to take back some of that time
lost thanks to social media and busy schedules. They are hopefully discovering
that they actually do enjoy spending time together. And for me, my opportunity
comes back to where we started. I have been given the opportunity to face
anxiety head on. So often I would feel anxious or depressed, but for no
recognizable reason. This may sound odd, but I have found comfort in having a
tangible reason to own these feelings. And another change…I’m allowing myself
to actually feel them. In some way, having something to actually worry about
has made those deep down anxieties fade away. I have realized that I DO have
control over my thoughts, and that has impacted my feelings. Oh, I am still sad
and worried multiple times throughout the day, but I keep coming back to Peace.
Priorities. Perspective. Opportunity.
Writing a completely “feel good” reflection on this time
didn’t feel right. I’m not feeling good all the time, but you know what? I’m
feeling something, and for me, that’s
improvement. I hope and pray that this intense and unknown time brings about
the right opportunities for all of us to appreciate each other, grow more
patient, and never, ever take the simple luxuries of life for granted. A virus
can spread fast enough to shut down a nation and keep us apart. But peace,
essential priorities, a renewed perspective, and an appreciation of opportunity
can build us back up stronger and more united than ever before.
