I’m pretty sure this saying –
the title of this post – is usually said the other way around. You’ve got to take the good with the
bad. I prefer saying bad first, then good,
because at least it implies that “good” is the norm and “bad” comes along now
and then. This phrase has been on the
forefront of my mind recently as I navigate through being a stay at home
mom. It’s a life lesson we all need to
learn and is one of those “yeah, I know” sayings that causes teenagers to roll
their eyes and children to look confused.
As an adult, it means something totally different than when your mom
says this to you when you don’t get the toy you wanted for your birthday. It’s a bit more serious and more of a
constant reminder, instead of a random occasion.
Today is actually a perfect
example of why I say this phrase to myself over and over. This morning went so well. I made it to the gym with both kids, Aiden
did not puke outside of childcare, I had a good workout and we had a good time
playing and having lunch at the mall.
Aiden fell asleep on the way home, which usually means a good nap. But, as soon as we walked in the door, he
started screaming, as did Audrey. Audrey
then puked all over herself and me, while Aiden told me he had a dirty
diaper. Bad with the good. So, no nap for Aiden (bad), but the three of
us had fun playing together (good).
Audrey went down easily for her nap (good), but Aiden has been very
needy as I try to be productive this afternoon – and try, might I add, to not
rely on the TV (another post, another day).
These are obviously minor ups and downs, but that is how our days seem
to go.
Every once in awhile, you may
have a day where everything goes well. The
weather is perfect, everything seems fun and easy and you feel well rested and
truly lucky. This is rare, of course, as
most of our days are filled with good and some bad and we have to learn to
handle what needs handling and move on and focus on that lucky part.
Somewhat related, I’ve been
thinking a lot about how we are raising our kids, as Aiden is definitely old
enough now to notice EVERYTHING. One of
his favorite movies is Finding Nemo and it has, what I think, is a very good
quote. “You can't never let anything
happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.” Read that over a few times. The fish saying this is talking to Nemo’s dad
and referring to how he is trying to never let anything happen to Nemo. It’s a major theme, if not THE theme of the
movie. As we raise our children, my
biggest fear is that bad things will happen to them. But the scary thing is, bad things WILL
happen to them. They will get hurt, they
will feel sad, they may lose a loved one and one day have a broken heart. They will have to learn to take the bad with
the good. As a parent, I’m still
learning how to teach them about this and I have a feeling it will involve
being their comfort and unconditional supporter as they navigate through the
good and bad. I know that’s how my
parents, family and friends have taught me.
We cannot keep them from this bad, or else how will they learn to be
strong? Just as I cannot give in to
crazy, stressful parenting moments or how will I ever grow as their mom?
As I wade through this, my kids can learn right along with me. They see how I react when I get cut off or
something breaks in the house. I hope
they will learn from me that there are times when things get overwhelming –
feel sad, angry, mad, whatever you are feeling and then move on. There will be times when this can happen right
away and other times, when things truly are trying, that it may take a lifetime
of moving on over and over. The key is
to not let the bad guide your life; take it, then get back to the good.
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