Christmas is magical, most would agree. The twinkling lights, shiny packages, hugs from family and friends and of course the celebration of the birth of Jesus. But why are so many memories from Christmas sad? I don't think I'm alone in this, and this year as I reflect on how far I've come and where I was a year ago, I can't help but think of Christmas' past.
There were years when I was heartbroken from a relationship or lack there of. There were years that I struggled financially to give those I loved the gifts I longed to give them. There were years that my heart ached for a baby and to be pregnant. And there were years when I missed a departed loved one so much, it was almost unbearable. Christmas time has a way of bringing those feelings to the surface. I'm not sure if it's the emotional music, the emphasis on how everything should be "merry" or maybe it's just that Christmas is a time to share with those you love. And if your heart is missing someone, Christmas seems to be a not so gentle reminder.
So why do I bring up this sadness the week of Christmas? Not with the intention of being depressing or discouraging. In fact, the opposite. I can remember sitting in the car on Christmas Eve, a few months after losing our second baby, and crying uncontrollably. It felt like life wasn't ever going to go our way. What I didn't know was that God had our plan, and things were about to change. A few short weeks later, we found out we were pregnant with Aiden. I also started a new job that I loved. Things fell into place, I just had to be patient and wait my turn.
I feel your hearts this Christmas. For those who have all they could ever dreamed of and those who are struggling with patience, peace and heartache. You are not alone and your time is coming. My Christmas wish for you is that you find comfort in this season and know that our journeys are not easy and they are definitely not expected. Our hearts can handle more than we could ever imagine, and that's a wonderful thing. As individuals, and as a world, we need to rely on our hearts and believe that what is around the corner will be good and it will be exactly what we need.