Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Textual Relationships

If you remember waaaaay back to this post, then you may recall that one of my goals for this year was to spend more time with my friends.  Since having kids, as usually happens, friendships have changed and I don't see nearly as much of them as I would like.  There are many reasons - different schedules, different parts of town, having to prioritize your time - but despite that, it's still a difficult transition when you become a parent.

I remember the same thing happening as we all started seriously dating and marrying.  The inevitable arguments over choosing to hang out with the boyfriend over the friend.  And then the babies come and your time is split even more.  And of course, I remember thinking...I will never ditch a girlfriend for  a guy!  And...I will never cancel on friends because my kid has a cold!  Well, I have and I probably will again.  We all do it.  That doesn't mean we love our friends any less.

So back to trying to spend more time with these girls.  It's hard.  Everyone is busy and everyone also wants to spend time with their kids, spouses and family.  So what do we do?  Well, for the past several years...we've texted.  Is it ideal?  No.  Is it better or even the same as getting together face to face?  Definitely not.  BUT, we can still talk.  We still know a good amount of each other's day to day lives and the conversation is almost daily.

Now before you go and think that I believe this counts as spending time with them, I definitely don't. I would still love to establish a monthly get together or really an anytime get together!  But it's better than nothing.  I can have a conversation with my best friend about the books we're reading or quickly ask for an opinion on an outfit.  We can reminisce with an old picture or share funny stories about our kids.  It's not ideal, but it may be the best we can do right now.

I'm not checking this goal off quite yet because I know I can do better.  There may be hurdles, jobs, kids, moves and life in general.  But these people knew me when I wore birkenstocks and overalls (oh wait, these are in again??), when I partied too much in college and when all I wanted was the right guy to come into my life.  They were there for me then and they'll continue to be there, because that's what true friends do.  And even if our relationship is mainly textual right now, it truly is better than nothing.

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