Friday, April 29, 2016

A picture is worth a thousand feelings

We all know a picture is worth a thousand words.  Pictures also evoke feelings, maybe even more so than words, and this week I experienced "all the feelings" when I saw a recent picture of myself.  A couple of weeks ago my friend and workout buddy Jaclyn took photographs of our small group training session, to be used by the gym.  I didn't think much of these pictures until I saw one this week.  I was scanning through them and almost went right by this one.  I had no clue that this was even me. 

Picture taken by Jaclyn with Gaga's Portaits

I zoomed, stared and then had to pull up a "before" picture.  You see, these ladies that I see on an almost daily basis don't know me from before.  They've seen me change somewhat over the past months, but it's been gradual.  When I showed them a picture from a few years ago, it was now them who didn't recognize me.  And actually, I didn't really either. 

This before picture was taken in California at my friend's wedding.  I was having a blast and yet when I look at this picture, all I see are the feelings that were underneath.  We were trying to have a baby (my weight was part of the issue), I was between jobs and I felt like I just couldn't get control of anything.  When I look at the after picture, I see strength.  I see perseverance and confidence.  But it's still hard to believe that it's really me.

I got in the car after seeing that picture and cried.  I cried happy tears because it finally hit me that I did it.  I've achieved a goal that I've dreamed about for years.  I am still a work in progress to keep things balanced and healthy, but letting in all of those feelings was overwhelming...and necessary.  The reaction my new friends had to these pictures and my progress was humbling.  It was a wake up call too, that I have come so far.

I may not be featured in Shape Magazine anytime soon, but you better believe this picture will be hanging on our fridge.  As a reminder of what I am capable of and as motivation to never go back. 

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