Do you know that I write most of these posts for my own benefit? That may sound selfish, but if you like to write at all, you know it can be very therapeutic. Of course, I love sharing our journey with you and connecting with you and am SO appreciative of you for reading this, but today's post is mostly for me. Even still, I think you may be able to relate.
Memorial Day weekend I started having some issues with my scar, which turned out to be an infection (basically a huge pimple, gross, I'm sorry), which led to outpatient surgery, which led to me being hooked up to this thing for the next three weeks.
It was a lot to take in over a short time period and because it happened so fast, I was pretty numb at first. I think it all hit me when my (wonderful, by the way) home nurse was putting in the wound vac. It hurt, it was much bigger than expected and I started to think about all of the things I won't be able to do for the next few weeks. It's summer now and water and this machine don't mix. That means no swimming. And no real showers. And no sweating. Three things that are usually at the top of my summer list. Even though my surgeon told me I could workout after a week, I'm not quite sure how that will work with this bag/tube situation and without sweating.
I've definitely started to head down the "I feel sorry for myself" road, but this morning I decided to take control. I can't get wet. That's pretty much it. Yes, the vac is annoying and I'm still in some pain, but let's consider the alternative. The infection could have been worse. I could still be in the hospital. I could have been VERY sick. I could have been away from my babies for a long time. Suddenly this new accessory doesn't seem so bad.
I am nervous about the next few weeks. I'm nervous it won't heal properly and I'm nervous I won't be able to take care of my kids the way I normally would. But they have actually been awesome and have already learned to be careful with mommy's "boo boo bag." After a couple more days around the house, I think we'll be ready to venture out and go about our usual activities. I am also nervous about not working out like I was for a few weeks. I've worked very hard to build muscle and get healthy and I'm not a fan of limiting my activity. But it's only three weeks. And my new lifestyle isn't going anywhere. In the meantime, I will do what I can and continue to eat healthy. This is just a little bump in the road.